The Process of Change & Leaving Our Comfort Zone

Updated: Feb 23, 2021

There is a quote I discovered recently that's stuck with me as a reminder of the process of change by Robin Sharma that says "All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end..." With this quote in mind, it reminds us that although change may be hard at first the end result is worth it in the end. So why is change hard at first?

As much as we hate to admit, we all have our vices, our secondary gains, our conditioned well-formed limitting belief's that have held us back at some point or another that we cling onto because its comfortable and well known. It's like an identity. A part of us, that is safe, well established and known as our "comfort zone". Thats what makes change hard. What gets us moving from procrastinating and avoiding change is having some sort of shock, epiphany, awakening, perhaps we a tired of getting the same results and dealing with the same thing day in day out or we hit rock bottom where we are forced to change direction.

You see if we have this comfort bubble we remain the same. However there is no growth in staying the same right? So we are faced with a choice, a new direction on how we can improve, change or evolve. Sometimes we may have a bout of motivation, courage or determination to dip our toe in the water & try something new, and then there are those of us stubborn and resistant to change (yes I'll admit I can be one of them at times) that like to cling to the "old identity" because the unknown is more scary & daunting and the fear of losing our attachment to our only known identity brings us a great deal of emotional uncomfortableness as we shed layers of ourselves that no longer serve us.

The thing is, at some point or another the universe forces us to change in some way or another whether we like it or not, through encounters with people, situations and events or circumstances that are guaranteed to trigger an emotional reaction within us to get us to acknowledge that there is something that needs to be addressed & show us that change is in order to feel comfortable again. Sometimes with a stubborn refusal to change we continue repeating painful patterns over and over again until we hit rock bottom and are forced to climb up and change perspective and start over.

So it comes down to this. Are we willing to change willingly and do things the easy way or are we going to be forced to change in some way or another and have to learn the hard way?

The truth is while some of our experiences aren't our fault, healing our wounds is our responsibility. While there are situations may seem unfair or have caused us a great deal of pain and discomfort that we feel we cannot face, only we have the power to choose how we react and respond to what is happening around us and only we can decide to either continue suffering or letting go and jumping into the unknown where the possibilities are endless. It's scary as hell. I'll admit. So often I have been faced with resistance and unrelenting fear of not even knowing where to start or how to even face my pain. Being an emotional sensitive person I get it. I hear you! Just know that you are never alone and its normal to feel unsure, uncertain, scared as hell and resistant to moving beyond your current identity and into the unknown. I understand and I can totally relate.

Change is going to be messy in the middle. There is going to be tears and tantrums, fear & doubt, uncertainty & rage, pain and sorrow, laughter & epiphany's, happiness and joy, and everything in-between as you navigate through life one step at a time. What matters the most is you BREATHE. Acknowledge the wounds, accept the lessons and let them go. The more we suppress and ignore the wounding and the problems the more they persist. We have the choice to either deal with the uncomfortableness head on or suppress and continue to suffer. And the more we suppress the more it manifests into physical symptoms and dis-eases and it is harming the body. Think of that for a moment. By resisting and suppressing emotions and trauma you are only causing harm to your body. So when would be a good time to change now?

So as you let go of the old, welcome in the new by replacing it with what it is you truly want. And sometimes even knowing what we want is a dilemma in itself, and that's ok. Sometimes we just have to live in the present moment and just allow whatever needs to come up and breathe through it and change our focus to what it is that will improve our life and make us feel good and happy in life again.

Change is gorgeous in the end. Once we have ridden the emotional waves, faced our darkest shadows and overcome the resistance and created what we truly want in our life, change isn't so bad, its amazing! Once the wounds have healed there will be no emotional charge anymore. It's like "water off a duck's back" as the saying goes. Change doesn't have to be hard. It can be easy if you allow, surrender & trust that you have got this and you can do anything you put your mind to. After all, the more we resist the more it persists, so the key is to go with the flow and allow yourself to shed the old layers no longer serving us and welcome in the new change with open arms.

Change is going to be a constant wave. While we can't control our external circumstances, how other people react or events happening in the world outside of our control, what we can change and control is how we perceive it, how we react and how we choose to show up in the world. Change is inevitable so we may as well jump on the ride and move along with it, with ease and grace then allow it resist and persist.

Challenge yourself today by stepping outside our comfort zone and be the change you want to see in the world :)

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